Shut The Front Door Up
by DivergentVampireTributeWitch
Summary: The Cullens, Jacob, Seth, and Leah have all joined chat rooms. But things get outta hand when Edward becomes over protective and Emmett can't controll any part of himself. Rated M just in case and for some suggestive themes and medeocre language
1. Rules

I don't own anything, if I did, I would be married to Edward, and BD pt 2 would be out in December

MindReader-Edward

**BarbieDresser-Alice**

**TLNHAH-Nessie**

**S.I.S-Seth**

**UsedToBeSwanLake-Bella**

**BigBoy1-Emmett**

**MirrorMirror-Rosalie**

**SurgeonSoftie-Carlisle**

**Remodleit-Esme**

**SassyWolfGrl26-Leah**

**RelaxItUp-Jasper**

**Numb.1Alpha-Jacob**

MindReader has signed on Numb.1Alpha has signed onMindReader: Hey Jake! What up?Numb.1Alpha: Nothing much… U?

**MindReader: Um… nothing really**

TLNHAH has signed onTLNHAH: Hey Daddy! Hi Jakey!

**MindReader: Hi Pumpkin**

**Numb.1Alpha: Hi Sweetheart!**

**MindReader: Why did you call her Sweetheart?**

**Numb.1Alpha: Cuz, she's my GF?**

**MindReader: That's not a good enough excuse**

**Numb.1Alpha: Wtf?**

**MindReader: My rules say here on page 34 paragraph 17 line 89 you can't call her 'Sweetheart' until she's 102. She's only 17.**

**Numb.1Alpha: Your rules also say I can't go on an alone date with her until she's 45**

**MindReader: So? Got a problem with that Wolf Boy?**

**TLNHAH: Daddy, don't call my Jacob names, and your rules are silly! I plan to be a mother already by the time I'm 35**

**Numb.1Alpha: I can't argue with that**

**MindReader: Why?**

**Numb.1Alpha: Cuz, my butt will be kicked if I disagree**

**MindReader: well, you're in a catch 22, cuz you can't disagree with both of us**

**Numb.1Alpha: I see**

**MindReader: BTW, Nessie what does TLNHAH stand for?**

**TLNHAH: The Loch Ness Half And Half**

**MindReader: Oh, I see. Change it.**

**TLNHAH: Why?**

**MindReader: IDK, it, it sounds inappropriate**

**TLNHAH: Fine what do you want me to change it to? Daddy's girl who can't have sex until she's 60? (I'M ANGRY RIGHT NOW)**

**MindReader: Sure! It's better than the current one**

TLNHAH has signed off UsedToBeSwanLake has signed on DGWCHSUS60 has signed onDGWCHSUS60: There, I changed it. HAPPY?

**UsedToBeSwanLake: What r u talking about?**

**DGWCHSUS60: Daddy made me change my screen name, cuz he thought my **_**old **_**one was inappropriate… Screw technology**

**MindReader: Renesmee Carlie Cullen never-to-be Black, watch your language**

**MindReader: And don't roll your eyes at me in your head, cuz I can c it**


	2. Vampire VS Werewolf

**UsedToBeSwanLake: Renesmee what are you wearing?**

**DGWCHSUS60: Clothes :0, why?**

**UsedToBeSwanLake: Well, your shirt shows a little too much of your skin and your skirt is way to short (images on profile)**

**Numb.1Alpha: I think it's fine!**

**MindReader: Shut up Numb Skull**

SassyWWWolfGirl26 has signed onSassyWolfGirl26: Hey ya'll

**Numb.1Alpha: Why are you in chat rooms when you can be with Collin?**

**SassyWolfGirl26: Cuz, he's with Brady**

**MindReader: Nessie, go change your clothes. Into something that shows no cleavage.**

**DGWCHSUS60: Yes Dad!**

DGWCHSUS60 has signed off

_RelaxItUp has signed on_

_BigBoy1 has signed on_

Big Boy1: Hey, wat's up homeboys? Homegirls?

**MindReader: Nessie's pissed off at me**

**Big Boy1: Isn't she always pissed off at you?**

**MindReader: Not ALL the time, just most of the time**

**RelaxItUp: Why?**

**SassyWolfGirl26: Cuz Cullen here is too protective**

**MindReader: I'm watching out for her Leah**

**Big Boy1: Holy Chizz, I just noticed something…**

**Everyone but Edward says: What?**

**Big Boy1: I totally love saying the words 'chizz'**

**SassyWolfGirl26: well then shut the chizz up!**

DGWCHSUS60 has signed onDGWCHSUS60: There I changed my clothes (Also on my profile)

**MindReader: Yet it didn't change the look on Jacob's face**

**Big Boy1: That look will never leave his face when she's around**

**RelaxItUp: Yeah even when she's wearing a marshmallow coat and sweats he'll look at her this way**

UsedToBeSwanLake has signed off Big Boy1 has signed off

_RelaxItUp has signed off_

_MirrorMirror has signed on_

MirrorMirror: oh, look what the wolf dragged in

SassyWolfGirl26: Oh, look at what cat threw up on. You look better when you're wearing an antique dress and stolen jewels

**MirrorMirror: Mirror, mirror on the wall whose the ugliest one of all?**

Big Boy1 has signed on

**Everyone: Ooooohhhhhh**

**Big Boy1: Burn, that was a burn on chizz sticks**

**MirrorMirror: Ha ha**

**SassyWolfGirl26: mirror, mirror on the wall whose the dumbest one of all? Oh, actually I don't know it's either you or Jacob. You're tied**

**MirrorMirror: **_has thought something towards SassyWolfGirl26_

**MindReader: Rosalie was that really necessary?**

**SassyWolfGirl26: What did she say?**

**MindReader: She called you a bitch**

**SassyWolfGirl26: Wow. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I have heard that before… LOSER!**


	3. I'm Done

SassyWolfGirl26 has signed off _MirrorMirror has signed off_ SurgeonSoftie has signed on

_Remodleit has signed on_

SurgeonSoftie: Whoa, what happened here? I looked back at the convo. And then I heard a faint buzzing in my ears

**Remodleit: Rosalie? Why does she always have to go so far?**

**MindReader: Cuz she hates everyone**

**Numb.1Alpha: I'm gonna make sure Leah calmed down**

Numb.1Alpha has signed off DGWCHSUS60 has signed off

_BarbieDresser has signed on_

_S.I.S has signed on_

BarbieDresser: Holy chizz buckets. Rosalie and Leah were going at it like there was no tomorrow

**S.I.S: what happened?**

**Big Boy1: Rose called your sister a bitch. And I was thinking 'WHAT THE CHIZZ?'**

**S.I.S:… Go Rosalie! I had been waiting to do that forever, but I never had the courage**

**MindReader: Well she did it through her mind**

**S.I.S: Oh what a pity. I'm gonna sit back and watch**

TinyTanya has signed onTinyTanya: Hi Seth! Are you in a suit?

**S.I.S: Yeah, why wouldn't I be? And why do you have to ask you're in the other room honey**

_DGWCHSUS60 has signed on_

_Numb.1Alpha has signed on_

_UsedToBeSwanLake has signed on_

_SassyWolfGirl26 has signed on_

_MirrorMirror has signed on_

_SurgeonSoftie has signed on_

_Remodleit has signed on_

**DGWCHSUS60: What a rush!**

**Numb.1Alpha: Totally!**

**MindReader: What are you 2 talkin' 'bout?**

**DGWCHSUS60: **_is thinking about what happened_

MindReader: U KISSED MY DAUGHTER?

Numb.1Alpha: Not in your rulebook is it Pretty Boy?

**MindReader: Let my check **_checks rulebook _**okay, it says right here. Page 3,120 paragraph 64 line 2,871 (quotes the book) Renesmee is not allowed to kiss Jacob or vice versa until Emmett says it's okay. (Stops reading) Well that's jank. Goodnight Nurse Jackie**

DGWCHSUS60 has signed off

_MindReader has signed off_

_Numb.1Alpha has signed off_

_UsedToBeSwanLake has signed off_

_SassyWolfGirl26 has signed off_

_Big Boy1has signed off_

_RelaxItUp has signed off_

_MirrorMirror has signed off_

_SurgeonSoftie has signed off_

_Remodleit has signed off_

_BarbieDresser has signed off_

_S.I.S has signed off_

_TinyTanya has signed off_

_THE END_


End file.
